HELLO HELLO HELLO!! So its been a hot minute since I’ve posted a new blog post (3 months to be exact). I haven’t half missed blogging and its finally time to jump back in. So, I’m back with a little life update, where have I been, what have I been doing, why did I leave it so long? My blog is all of my thoughts and feelings, so I thought that this would be something I can look back on in the future. As well as maybe, there’s someone who can relate to how i’m feeling. So, get comfy & get a cuppa, this is probably gonna be a long one!
My last post was December 13th and right in the middle of blogmas (which was a massive fail HAHA) it was two days before I went to Amsterdam. Blogmas caught up with me, I was nowhere near as prepared as I thought I was. But I had every intention of catching up and carrying on when I got home from Amsterdam. Then Amsterdam turned into the holiday from hell and when I got back I didn’t want to do anything, let alone blog.
I love Amsterdam, I’ve been quite a few times. But this time was my brothers first time, he had just turned 18 & him, his friend, me, Charlie & my friend were going for his birthday trip. It was chaos from the start. Our flight there got delayed, Liam (my brother) left his bag on the plane, we watched someone get shot in the airport, Liam broke his phone, then our flight home got cancelled & we got delayed a day. It was an absolute mess!
Watching what happened on the first day in the airport stuck with me, I was a mess. I had never experienced anything like that before, never mind been that close to one. It was really difficult at first, I couldn’t sleep because i’d dream of it, every little noise scared the life out of me, I still can’t talk about it without crying. I won’t travel anywhere on my own now & I’m now very cautious about my surroundings / the people around me but it’s getting easier. I’m someone who keeps all of my feelings in, which made it build up a lot of emotions. I’m also a very independent person and I think thats why it effected me so much, because I just couldn’t talk about it and didn’t want to go anywhere on my own, I lost my independence.
But i’m surrounded by the absolute best people, which i’m so grateful for. I also started therapy, which has helped me a lot. I’m not going to talk about it a lot but yeah, that’s pretty much why I lost motivation in everything. I just didn’t want to do anything at all.
If that weekend taught me anything, it was that literally anything can happen in minutes. You don’t know what is around the corner. It’s made me try and be more spontaneous and to just do everything I want to do. Life’s too short man.
So since then, I went to Winter Wonderland with my best friends and went to watch Mamma Mia in the theatre in London. It was AMAZING. Honestly if you can, go and watch Mamma Mia in London!! We had the best weekend!
I went down to my best friend Laura’s, for a girls weekend with her & Jess. We had so much fun! I’ve been on Spa days with my mum (we’ve made them a monthly tradition, Facials will change your life). I do something with my bestfriend every weekend, whether it’s shopping or a night out (night in most of the time haha). I’ve been learning how to drive again, I’ve made new friends, I’ve caught up with old friends. It’s been fun!
I’ve done a lot, I’ve spontaneously bought things, booked holidays, joined a gym and i’m learning new languages – and that’s how I want the rest of the year to go too. No holding back, just doing whatever I want to do, whenever!
This year is the year for me. To get back to myself, to be spontaneous, to be genuinely happy.
I’ve dropped a day in work so that I have more time to focus on me & things I want to do. I’m doing an NVQ in Customer Care through work. I don’t know what career I want yet, so I may as well get the qualification incase Customer Care is a route I decide to go down in the future. I’m a bridesmaid for my cousin in July – which I’m so excited about! But my main focus is to save so that I can travel. I wanna see the world & experience new things, I don’t want to just settle. My aim is to travel as much as I can which is working out because from August I have a holiday every month! I’m so excited.
I’ve also started drawing again, I absolutely love it! I bought an Apple Pencil and iPad Pro a while a go and started doing illustrations. In the future I might do a full post on them, if anyone is interested!
I have missed blogging so much but I just didn’t know how to start again. Whilst I wasn’t posting – I was still blogging – kind of. I still took a million photos, planned posts and drafted them. So there are a million new posts coming your way. I regularly(ish) still posted on my blog Instagram & I’m always active on twitter. I just felt so out of the blogging loop that I didn’t know how to get back in. But if I don’t try, I never will. So here I am, jumping back in!
I hope everyone is well & enjoys the rest of their week!
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